And sew it begins…

Miserable, sad, fed up, bloated, immobile, crying on the inside, biggest size clothes too small! Yep, that was me before I started SW; along with a huge serving of denial! And guilt – I’ll just enjoy this food, and start dieting next week. The next week diet never came.

So I was in Tesco car park and saw an old friendly face. She has had amazing weight loss with SW. She was warm and friendly and planted that encouraging seed to come back to SW. I knew I had to do something… I was gaining weight at a regular and steady pace. As I write this now I reflect on my lowest adult weight I can remember and 2 years ago to the month I was 7 stone lighter than when I was when I joined SW in August 2015. I have battled low mood and anxiety for a long time and have always used eating as comfort and a crutch, a coping mechanism. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. Self conscious, hiding behind people in photos, confidence hitting Rock bottom in my general daily life. Not being able to sit in restaurants. Not fitting in theatre seats. Maxing out the biggest size clothes and Only being able to buy clothes on two shops. Out of breath , diabetic from being too fat. Crying and cringing inside.

I then met the love of my life, now my husband. He has changed my life in so many ways. He loved me for who I am, gave me body confidence, and generally gave me inspiration and made me feel safe and alive. He supports me in every aspect of me life. We had a beautiful baby boy last year. That year also saw me gain 6 stone trough my pregnancy months and further gains through the rest of the year. I had tried dieting on and off – low carb, calorie counting, vlcd – I managed a couple days – couple weeks with the calorie counting, but it was hard work and I felt like it wasn’t sustainable. From Jan 2014 to August 2016 I gained 8 stone.

I asked Lee to come along to SW with me after I met my friend who said about it in Tesco. I didn’t want to go on my own, confidence still in pieces. It was scary and intimidating. My thinking process was that I have got so much to loose, I’m never going to be able to do it. Complete denial and just kept filling my face with food. Which, of course, was a vicious circle. Lee came along with me and listened to the new members talk. I was so emotional listening to our leader, Marie, and just started crying. I still get emotional and choked up writing this now. I felt that this was my chance to get the weight off. My motivation is my health and my little boy. It will be nice to be able to have a choice of clothes, sure, but my fear is my health if I didn’t do something. Lee decided to join with me as extra support. I must admit when I heard about how the plan works I was like ok I may loose a couple of stone – nowhere near the 10-15 I want / need to loose. Especially when you are told you can eat as much pasta, potatoes etc as you like in the ‘free food section’. However, I decided to put my questioning aside and have faith in the plan. I was desperate to find something. I went to have my first weigh in and those scales hit a number I have never seen before. I was so upset, horrified, scared. I think that moment will stay with me for a very long time.

I had a gain over Christmas – I was 1/2 pound away from my club 10 . This was also my Christmas wish which I didn’t achieve. But when I take a look
At he bigger picture I was 2 stone 7 lighter than I was before and if I hadn’t have joined SW in the August I probably would have been 4 stone 7 pounds heavier!

Well, here we are 20 weeks later and I am 3 stone 2 pounds lighter. Slimming world has changed my life. Between hubby and I we have lost 6 stone and 3 pounds , forever! I still have a long way to go , but I am so happy that I have started my weight loss journey. It feels different this time. I feel confident, happy, satisfied with the plan. I feel supported and I’m seeing results. I have made what I consider to be friends at my group and my leader is absolutely amazing. I have thrown myself into the plan and involved myself in the social team for our group and visiting other groups to help out on the social team. I believe this really helps to keep me focused too.
There have been a couple of weeks were I have been really disheartened. Thought I had, had a good week …only for he scales to show a loss of half a pound. But you know what, on reflection now, that loss is still a loss and the weight heading in the right direction.

I think one of the biggest differences for me, that has really contributed to my weight loss, has been my re-education around my eating habits when eating out , having takeaways and snacking. Alongside the new ways of cooking with lower syn/free ingredients. I think my biggest contributor has been speed food. The more speedies! (As our little boy likes to call them) I eat , the more they enhance my weight loss. I have also tried to increase my fluid intake. Apart from it being good for my body, I believe this has helped with the weight loss too. In reflection, the weeks when I haven’t had as many speedies or fluids, they have been the lower loss weeks.

Planning! Planning is the key for me. If I don’t have a plan of the weeks foods – it is then that I become weak and reach for convenience non optimised foods. Life gets in the way (in a good way!) , we are tired from the baby teething, Lee working, my back still had a prolapsed disc that came to light after my Cesarian. We have busy lives, and if we don’t plan that becomes a danger zone for me. I like to batch cook at the beginning of the week so we have a couple of meals that we can then add different bits too 🙂 it works well for us. And of course, I pack it full of speeds. Before I started SW I wouldn’t even set foot in the kitchen. Can’t cook, won’t cook over here! Ask Lee about the Chinese chillie!!! However, I started to make small meals and really enjoyed experimenting and finding yummy free and optimised meals for us to
Enjoy. I will share some of our favourite recipes with you all later. The frozen SW meals are also amazing life savers if you have nothing planned or you are out and about , or need to grab food quickly. We have them and pack them full of added speedies!

So, let’s talk about Christmas – and my first run of gains! I had a plan in my head that I was going to optimise all over he 2 week Christmas period and just have some ‘treats’ on Christmas Day. That did not happen. My taste buds runs away with me and I kept on eating. At first I was upset , but again, I had to reflect on my bigger picture. I also acknowledge that it is going to take me some time to address and find different coping mechanisms to work with and Undo my lifetime of emotional and psychological eating habits. I even went to get weighed Boxing Day with the intention that I would be back on plan. That didn’t happen either. I enjoyed Christmas – Christmas is a social and eating time in my house. We then went to an amazing restaurant for my brothers 30th birthday. I was torn, I was torn between optimising 100% or having that nice food while we were out. I know one of my danger zones is, I’m an all or nothing, I can’t just have one, I’ll eat the whole box. Anyway, after that two weeks, and my 6.5lb gain I well and truly drew that line. Got back on it and lost my 7lbs this week. I also achieved my club 10.

To be continued…

Leave a comment

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *